That seems harsh, it's not entirely self inflicted, but I can't blame anybody else for my situation. I should've listened to my instincts quite a while ago, they are seldom wrong, but I can lack confidence in them. Things can get a little twisted from time to time, especially when you have a tendency to over analyze any actions. So the first lesson learned is trust your instincts, don't let anybody tell you other wise because that way madness lies.
I'm generally suffering because I lack foresight, I am of the moment, but the moment is already in the past by the time the brain as processed it, so am I of the past??
Aren't we all?